Objects of affection

I really don’t understand how people can think of kids as “convenient” or “inconvenient”. I posted the following in response to someone’s post – and got a really big mouth from another reader. But that’s his problem. Some people seem to think that kids are objects – toys you can buy in the store and leave in the closet when you don’t want ‘em anymore. Skip the difficult years and get to the good stuff. But there is no “good stuff” with kids. There’s only “happy moments” – all the rest is very likely to be full of annoyances. But they’ll be annoyances that form a bond, like the annoyances you get from your sister or from your lover. Except that this is your child. You can’t say “I don’t want you anymore” when you’re tired of the annoyances. You can’t ignore it or put it in the trashcan when you’re done.

If you want kids, fine. But think about it first.

Kids aren’t toys. You don’t adopt because you want one. It’s not like going to the supermarket and picking a saucage because you feel like one.

It’s also not like picking a saucage just so you have one in case you feel like it tomorrow, or next week.

Babies and kids, adopted or not adopted, will require you to change your habits. Adoption is best when the child is young – under 2 years old. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work when the child is older and that doesn’t mean the child is not going to be grateful, but it will be harder to bond with your child.

If you adopt or have babies, have them because you want them. Not because you think you’ll regret or not because you think it’s “the right [thing] to do at this time”.

If you adopt, love the child as your own. Don’t go “you should be grateful because I took you in”.

Also, there’s nothing selfish in breeding, damnit. It’s selfish to see kids as something that will fill a void in your life, like placing that leather couch in the corner, or buying a red corvette. If you think kids should be “conventient” then you shouldn’t even consider them. Not now, not later. They’ll never be convenient

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 18th, 2007 at 14:19:07 and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.