Okay, I have _a_ fan. Well, that’s not entirely true, either. I have two fans. But one of them’s my wife and it says so in “Guitar Hero” that wives and mums don’t count. So, I have one fan.

I met him today in the supermarket. Or rather, my wife (the other fan, but that doesn’t count) met him. I was rather occupied carrying a bag full of groceries in the most dignified manner possible.

It was a little boy, maybe three years old, who looked at me passing by and stretched his arms all the way out, like only a little one can, and he said to his father “Whaw, his hair is sooooooooo big. I want big hair too when I’m all grown up!”

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When I come back, leaving the A27 and turning onto the A28, a woman in a dark Ford Escort (I think) is in front of me. When she moves out of the way, I start to overtake her when she suddenly comes back to the lefthand lane. I’m thinking “no way, she’s NOT going to just drive into me” but she continues to go to the right and finally it hits me: She isn’t going to stop, and then SHE hits me. The back of the driver’s side of the car hits the front of my car’s passenger side and she starts swirving around. She’s forced to the left which she counters with a jerk to the right. That jerk sends her off into the soft shoulder where the car loses balances and tips over. The car stops, on its passenger side, some way further down.

I brake hard and park the car in the soft shoulder. I grab my jacket and run to the car. At this point, I’m really scared that someone is at least going to have a nosebleed in that car. When I arrive, other people have stopped to help and are trying to open the passenger door. (The one the car isn’t lying on, obviously) When the car opens, the first thing I hear is a child crying. I go crazy with fear and nerves thinking “OMG OMG OMG I just hit a car with a child in it and it’s crying!”. But when the child is lifted out of the car, it’s almost smiling and it says “We did a flip with the car!” in that very boyish “that was amaaaaazing” way. A second child emerges from the car, also unscathed, and then the mother is helped out of the car.

I end up with some bodywork and a flat tire (which I got replaced an hour later) but the woman’s car is less lucky. Still, I guess we’re all lucky since no-one got seriously injured in the accident.

Click the images below for larger versions.

The trajectory of the car that hit me
The damage to my car (Tire already replaced)
The other car

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I’ve worked with people with burnouts in the past. I know the symptoms, I know how hard it is to get back on track once you’re well and truly burned out.

Halfway through September, I noticed the symptoms with myself: irritable, not rested after a full night’s sleep, lack of concentration, constantly tired, extremely low motivation to name but a few.

My breaking point was sitting in a traffic jam for quite a prolongued time and, once traffic was flowing again, driving like a madman to go home. I was in a rage and it’s a wonder I didn’t crash the car at that point. Once home, I grabbed the phone and called my manager to explain that things couldn’t go on like this and that I really really needed to find a solution. I’m the type of guy who, in real life, takes a lot of shit from people, tries not to offend to many people and seems like a general dogooder. This has, in the past, led to people thinking I was a doormat and me not realising this. So, cue surprise from my manager.

Anyway, to cut a long story short: I called in sick a week later. I felt really close to a burnout and wanted to avoid that at all costs. I felt emotionally unstable and the constant tiredness and lack of concentration wasn’t making things better. I couldn’t even play Final Fantasy Tactics because I simply couldn’t get myself to read the small text on the screen.

Anyway, I’ve been visiting a psychologist and things are finally clearing up, it seems. I’ve had a talk with my (new) manager at work, and we set up someting of a plan to get me back to work. Frankly, sitting around at home is not my cup of tea.

To round things off, we’ve got another gig this week (yay), I apparently won a Fatboy hammock by eating a box of Pringles (yay) and my bonds are still going up at 10% each month.

So yeah, the doctor of the insurance company can kiss my shiny yellow METAAAL! butt and stick his aggressive “you’re not sick, you need to get back to work pronto” up his sun-deprived location along with his “so, I drive 3 hours a day too, sometimes” and his implied “don’t lie to me, I’m a doctor”. If I ever see him again, I’ll accidentally bump into him. I’m really good at accidentally bumping into people.

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His story moved me. He stuck his head out and it turned out allright. It even turned out better than allright.

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Going to the zoo was very relaxing. There were very little people so I could take pictures to my heart’s content. I ate a little halfway through the zoo and felt very, very relaxed, actually. I should do this sort of things more often. Next week, I might visit the Apenheul. Or Burger’s zoo. Or a zoo in Belgium.

Let me know if you like the pictures!

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